Glimpses of the Past

Sreemati Sen posted under 3-2-2001 Short Stories on 2021-03-01



Stacey checked the register. One more appointment before calling it a day. But this was the complicated case that her senior had referred to her. Not all cases can be dealt alone. Some of them require the partnership of a Psychiatrist and a Past Life Regression Therapist (PLRT)*.  And Stacey was the best in India. Married to an Indian, she had chosen to spend her life here. It was on a backpacking trip to India that the Australian had fallen in love with her tour advisor and his country. She knew she there was a greater objective behind this decision of hers. Despite being an expert in the field, she was yet to explore the connection.  *** The door opened to usher in a couple. The woman walked, bent at an angle. She was beautiful, but the dark patches beneath her eyes marred it. The eyes were sunken hollows and seemed to harbour deep sorrow. The man, slightly older than the woman, held her hand even when they sat down. His anxious eyes darted between his wife and the therapist’s.   Stacey jotted down her observation on the thick file painstakingly prepared by her senior.   Rita was her client’s name. She had been suffering from stress-induced depression since the last three years and had repeatedly failed in her attempts to commit suicide. A thorough medical examination had been recommended by her physician. The reports were normal. Yet she complained of a peculiar pain in her lower abdomen and uneasiness.  The physician referred her to a psychiatrist who conducted many sessions over the last one year. But the sessions did nothing to relieve her of the ailment. Even the anti-depressants failed. A mild sedative did make her sleep fitfully. But the restlessness would be back the moment she woke up. It was like her constant companion, reluctant to give up its claim on her.   The client always felt irritated no matter how considerate her husband was. Married to her childhood sweetheart for the last two years, they had expected that marriage would improve her state of mind. It did, in fact! But a miscarriage made her sink deeper into oblivion till she tried taking her life one day. Repeated attempts and failure made her morose and pathetic.   Raoul, her husband, elaborated about the sudden outbursts that his wife had. Her growing suspicion of people around her. Her sudden phobia of water or the urge to run away from home. Her constant bickering with her parents. Her hankering for a baby and her obsessive thoughts of something seriously wrong with herself troubled him. Rita sat listening to him, occasionally nodding her head in agreement or sighing in despair. It was evident that they deeply cared for each other and were looking for a resolution.  Stacey checked the timepiece. One and a half hours more. It was time to begin.  *** “Ma’am…” “Please call me Stacey.” “Uhh. Sure. I have a peculiar pain in the abdomen. Here…. just below the navel.”  “Rita, I have seen your scan reports. You also have a mark there.” “Nothing was found in them. But believe me Stacey, it hurts. I can’t walk properly. And yes, this is a birthmark.” Rita sighed.  “Don’t worry…! Now that you are here, we will find a way out. Please lie down. You can select the couch, the settee or the single bed there. Wherever you are comfortable in.” Turning towards Raoul, “I have read your request. Yes, you can be present here, but on ONE condition. You will remain a mere spectator. No matter what, you will NOT utter a single word. I hope this is clear.” *** “The couch! It’s ideal for me. I can put up my head and that way I won’t feel claustrophobic.” Stacey got up from the chair, poured herself a glass of water and stood behind Rita, noting down each and every behaviour of hers. “Extra pillows?” She asked.  “No. You see, my head has to be in an elevated position. Every time I keep it at the same level with my body and close my eyes, the darkness closes around me….as if something is looming over me……. something dark and sinister waiting for its chance.” A shudder ran down her body. Stacey reacted involuntarily. She placed an additional cushion on each side of her client’s neck, keeping her head upright. The curtains had been drawn. A faint hint of lavender pervaded the room. The file had mentioned lavender was her client’s favourite.  “Close your eyes and think of the spot between your eye brows. That is where you have to focus. Concentrate. Now ease out your hands. Open up your fingers. Yes. That’s good. Now…don’t tighten your stomach…. loosen it…. Your legs…. Relax, Rita. Don’t stiffen.  Great! Now I will count. Meanwhile put all your efforts on that dot between your eyebrows.” “1….2….3…….10….15….20.” Stacey counted, pausing at every number. She could see the change in Rita. The stiffness had gone.   She liked the calm tone of the therapist’s voice. It was someone she could trust. The heaviness in her mind and body had almost gone. A strange feeling of light-headedness descended upon her. She was almost floating.  *** “Now Rita, I want you to go back to your past life…” Rita’s forehead crinkled as she tried to see. Stacey could make out the movement of her eye balls.  “Tell me what do you see?” “I am sitting on the floor. There are two bodies. Oh, no! They are my parents. Dead. They are dead!” Rita screamed in shock.   “What will happen to me? Those men will take me away. What have I done?” She wailed.  “Ssshhhhh……. Look at the bodies.”  “No ...I can’t.” “Go back to what happened last night.” “They are fighting. They always fight. Dad drinks. Today he is angry about something. Oh, he wants more money. He starts beating Maman. No, no! Don’t beat her.” “How old are you? Where are you?”  “Thirteen. Under the bed. That’s where Maman hides me. My father can never reach me under the bed! He is still beating Maman. No! Don’t beat her. Have mercy on us! He is twisting Maman’s hands. She is shouting at him. He…he…my own father has sold me to the men.  Maman slaps him hard.” Rita stopped abruptly.  “And then?”  “He he…. Takes out a knife from his pocket and stabs her. He keeps stabbing her. Maman…Maman…. No no! Blood is splattered everywhere. He peeks under the bed and smiles at me.” The client paused briefly. Stacey noted down the change in her expression. Her jaws tightened up and a tiny pulse beat near her throat. Her fingers closed on an imaginary object.   “Rita?” “Everything is quiet. I sneak out, take Maman in my arms. My beautiful Maman… and then I turn towards him. That man has passed out. I grab the knife and then jump upon him. Stab him on the face. On the chest. His stomach. Just like the way he ended Maman’s life. It’s a mess. Blood for blood!  But now…. what will happen? The men will he here any moment. I can’t run far from them. I open the backyard door and run out. The bridge…. that’s where the city ends. The river. I jump into it. The water is closing around me……Help help. I am sinking. Help.”  Rita thrashed her hands trying to wade. Raoul jumped up from his seat. Stacey stopped him on time.  “Do you see the water around you?” “I…I can’t breathe.  Someone please help me.” “Rita. Stop struggling. Sink deeper. Feel the water around you. Its calm and quiet.” “I can’t….”  “Calm down……you can! Go with the water…. Move your arms gradually. Try to swim. You know how to swim. Now…what do you see?” Her client stilled. She seemed to be in deep sleep. “What do you see, Rita?” Stacey asked her again.  “Ahh…. it’s beautiful. The fish. The blue around me.” *** The therapist snapped her fingers twice. “Rita. Rita. …That life is over. Now go back further. Where do you see yourself?” “In the hills.” “Who are you?”  “A young man. I live with my wife. She is pregnant with our first child. I am excited.”  “Now let’s move a bit further.” “We are fighting…. again! I came back from work unannounced. She was in our room with my best friend. I can’t believe this. How can my friend do this to me?”   “What happens after that?” “She is sitting there, crying. I am ready to forgive her. After all, she is my child’s mother. But she points at her belly and says she no longer loves me. That baby is not mine, but my friend’s. She has betrayed me. I rush out. Tears run down my face. My dreams of a happy family are finished. I did not see the truck coming. It was too late. Ahhhhhhhh! Ahhhh..” Tremors shook the client’s body. One final shudder and she stilled.  Raoul screamed. “Ritaaaaa!”  Turning around, Stacey growled. “Will. You. Please. Control. Yourself?” Realising his folly, he hung his head in silence.  *** “Let’s move back further. What do you see?” “I am running. There are men behind me. But I can’t run fast. I…I am pregnant. I can feel the baby kicking inside me. My baby….my poor baby!” “Who are those men?”  “They have been sent by my father. I eloped with a man and married him. Our only fault- we don’t belong to the same caste. They killed him - my husband. Now they want to kill us as well. I am scared. What will happen to my unborn child? I have to run…fast…. FAST!” The client started panting. Breathless, she opened her mouth to gulp in more air.  “I trip. There is a nasty cut on my ankle. And then something whooshes past me. I can’t believe this. They are firing at me. My own father is firing at me? A sharp searing pain blinds me. I fall in a heap. There is blood oozing out of my belly. Just where my baby is…my baby….! I see Baba standing above me. He smiles. “Let’s bring an end to this disgrace.’ He signals to someone. The sword comes down. Clutching my baby, I close my eyes. Aaaaahhhh!” Rita’s head twitched and shook involuntarily. Her tongue slipped out.  “It’s over. You are dead. Can you see yourself?” Rita remained silent.  “Rita?” “Yes…” “Touch your belly one last time. You tried your best in protecting the baby. But both of you died. It’s not your fault.” The client broke down again. “My baby…My baby…I am so sorry. But I have always carried you, in my heart! Believe me.” “Rita…. Rita…. you have to come back to the present now... This is where you belong. Sever all connections with your past.” “I can’t leave my baby here. I can’t…” Stacey snapped her fingers. Twice, thrice.  But the woman lay unresponsive. Stacey repeated her words. But to no avail.  Raoul looked on. Panic written on his face.  Closing her eyes, the therapist took her position behind Rita’s head. Placing her palms on the woman’s forehead, she closed her eyes. Her voice was a now a faint whisper as she tried hard to communicate with Rita’s soul. It had wandered far away into the past. Unless she reined it in, it would be lost. Forever! *** She found her! Lost in a long dark tunnel. The tunnel which connected the past to the present.  It’s not common for disturbed souls to get lost on their way from a PLR exercise. Stacey realised that she should have prepared well for this case. She grabbed hold of Rita’s hand and turned her around. To her surprise, the client was no longer the woman who lay in the therapist’s chamber. In her place was a much younger version. Probably the grieving mother who was killed by her father.  “Rita. I am here to take you back. You do not belong here. “ “No. Let me go. I can’t live in either of the worlds. Neither here…nor there.” “I sent you here to look at your past, understand the circumstances and find a closure. As a little girl, you have avenged your mother’s death. That was a brave thing to do. But you never got over the guilt of killing your father, or the fear that makes you want to run away and the desperation to take your life. Do you still feel guilty of it? Are you still fearful of water? “ “No…. No more.” “As that young man, you have issues with trust, but look at Raoul. He loves you with all his heart. Don’t you want to rebuild your life with him again?  He is there…waiting for you! What if you don’t return? Can you imagine how it will break him?” “Never…. I love him.” “And that pain in your abdomen. You were shot there. Remember the birthmark you mentioned? Birthmarks are but, remnants of our past. You will have a baby with Raoul again. Now that you have all your answers, come…join me…!” Stacey held out her hand.  After a moment’s hesitation, Rita put her hand in hers. As they floated down the tunnel, they saw a light. It gradually took a form and penetrated Rita. A voice broke the silence. “Stacey, do you realise the power you have? Rita’s soul was entrusted the task to assist you in discovering your hidden potential. You have been sent to bring the lost souls to light.” The light guided them back to the present.  Stacey opened her eyes. After years of therapy she had found answers to her questions. She waited for her client to wake up. As Raoul drew closer to his wife, she moved away and watched them. Rita woke up after a few minutes. Finding her husband beside her, she broke down into tears. They embraced each other. Stacey heard her saying. “I have finally learnt it all. I am sorry for wasting two years of your life. Can we start it anew?” The man did not say anything. But hugged her tight.  Stacey sighed. The whole session was an eye-opener. It still amazed her how negative attachments passed on all the fear, phobias, and emotions to the host. She still couldn’t fathom how these attachments were carried on for years. At times, it is karmic, while most of the time they accidentally walk in.  Ultimately its closure that everyone wants. For Rita, it was a closure of the past that had been haunting her for years. For Stacey, it was the closure of the constant pursuit she was in. And the light chose Rita to end her quest.  Drained and exhausted, the therapist and her client got ready to leave. Stacey switched off the lights in her chamber. None of them saw the unborn baby crawl, carefully marking its way to them. By visiting the past, they had reawakened it.   *** Glossary: Past Life Regression: Past life regression is a technique that attempts to use hypnosis in order to recover memories from previous lives. According to past life regression therapists, many mental health issues that patients experience may have their origins in traumatic experiences of past lives. Past Life Regression Therapy: Past Life Regression is a gentle form of hypnotherapy which takes an individual back through time to their previous lives or incarnations by accessing memories and experiences that are normally hidden in their subconscious mind. It helps in:
  • Reconnect with past life experiences.
  • Help you understand why you feel a deep connection with certain places.
  • Explore your past life and current Soulmate experiences.
  • Identify physical ailments you have, which may be remnants of past life experiences.
  • Explore unresolved emotions which have carried through into this lifetime, creating fears or beliefs which you have been unable to explain.
  • Acknowledge and embrace the key lessons learned through those lives.

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