I Love You
“Good morning, baby.” Rohit playfully pulled Ruchi’s cheeks and greeted her.
“Hell with your good morning. I am filing for divorce.” Ruchi stared and bellowed.
"Divorce? Why?" Rohit stammered.
“Look at yourself, Rohit. Enough is enough. I can’t take this anymore. You promised discipline, didn’t you? Do they even last for a week?” Ruchi said, her nostrils flared.
“Which promise did I break?” Rohit asked.
"You forgot? Great! I'm referring to your eating habits and the weight you've gained. Your indiscipline is causing me stress. Doctors advised you to shed ten kilograms, but you've added an extra eight. Your belly seems to have declared independence – it's hanging out and waving its flag! You should realize that you're not getting any younger." Ruchi replied, irritated.
"I am only forty, wifey. Moreover, I eat only two stuffed rotis and a bowl of cucumber and tomato salad you pack for me for lunch. I don’t know how my weight is going up. The doctor is at fault," Rohit retorted.
“Ah? How?” Ruchi asked, her brows furrowed.
"Since the doctor suggested I eat something every two hours, I grab a bite from the office canteen around 4:00 p.m. and before leaving. Mind you, they are fresh," Rohit muttered.
"You have diabetes, damn it. Hence, the doctor suggested small meals every two hours. What do you eat there?" Ruchi inquired.
“I eat crispy hot samosas freshly made, mini pizzas loaded with VEGETABLES and some cheese, burgers, topped with LETTUCE and creamy mayo. The day I sit longer, I mean evenings, the canteen fellow makes mouth-watering Chole-bature. The gravy is infused with a blend of spices like cumin, coriander, and garam masala. You should taste it once. I will get it for you. Ok?
“Cheese, fried bread….Superbbb,” Ruchi said sarcastically.
“Yeah, naa. Now, do you still think I am not disciplined? Common for such a small issue, you will give me a divorce?” Rohit ignored her sarcasm and said with a grin.
“Why don't you change instead of gobbling all these unhealthy foods? I am going to use olive oil and alter your diet, too. Either you break up with unhealthy foods, or let’s break up,” Ruchi warned.
“I apologize. The new year is only a week away. I promise I will stay disciplined and not disappoint you.” Rohit pleaded.
"This is your last chance, Rohit. If you fail, I will leave you," Ruchi said, sighing heavily.
“No, you can’t do that to me. You promised you would give me rich delicacies in the new year. Buddy, I need butter. No olive oil, please.” Rohit’s belly, tumtum grumbled.
I love you, Tumtum. Bear with me for two weeks. I will keep my promise. I will give you rich delicacies with butter, not some stupid oil. Now, don’t make any noise lest Ruchi hears,” Rohit said, burying his head into his shirt.
“What are you murmuring, Rohit?” Ruchi asked in disgust.
"Nothing, darling," Rohit muttered, and he and his tumtum both grinned.
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