Self Realization and Philautia
Sometimes self-realization happens in the most unexpected of places. The reunion of the MBA batch of 1997, and a near-death experience, changed my outlook on life.
Who would have thought Meera, the recluse in the class back then, would take pains to connect individually with the entire batch. But I am glad she did, and so we reconnected. All of us agreed that a reunion was overdue. The majority wanted it over the weekend without family or children. We decided to meet in a sprawling property in Pune.
I drove down with an inflated feeling of self-worth. Coming from a lower-middle-class background, I had risen to a senior position in a Bank and acquired a three-bedroom flat in Mumbai. How could I miss the chance to show off my recently acquired BMW?
My inflated ego came crashing down when I met my batch mates. Ravi, a backbencher I had written off, was an entrepreneur, making millions. Mohit, the stutterer with low self-confidence, was a faculty in one of the IIMs. Kavitha, who always approached me for notes, ran a multi-branch coaching school. And the list went on. I was envious; I wasn't happy with myself and my achievements. I returned with the urge to do more. It made me angry and irritable, causing anxiety and stress to shoot up to an all-time high.
To top it all, I suffered a heart attack a few days later. I was lucky that I reached a hospital in time. I was diagnosed with 90% blockage; bypass surgery saved my life. During the recovery period, I paused for the first time in years.
It was time for introspection. I realized I had been running a rat race, and in the process, I had forgotten to care for my health, smile, and enjoy the small pleasures that came along the way. I had forgotten to live. I was thankful for the second chance, and I meant to live it well.
Based on my experience, I wrote down the causes of my troubles and the life lessons I learned in the process. I came up with the following:
- Life is unpredictable; live like there is no tomorrow.
- There is no excuse for poor health. Keep fit.
- Time is limited, but it is at your disposal. Choose wisely. Set aside time to do your favorite things.
- You are responsible for your life.
- Trust your inner voice. Slow down before it is too late.
- Don't be afraid to make choices, even if they are life-changing.
- Societal standards of success do not determine self-worth.
- Accept yourself with your strengths and flaws.
- Comparison leads to envy and stress.
- Materialistic things never give lasting happiness; happiness is internal; it is a state of mind.