Thank You
Bright sunshine was emerging in the sky …Mira was sitting in her balcony enjoying her usual early morning ginger tea, when her email message buzzed.
She stared at the email message on her computer, her mind racing so fast that the words blurred together and no longer made any sense. Just three lines, but enough to make her life--- the life she had worked so hard and sacrificed so much to build……. Begin to crumble around her.
The message says, “Mary suffered a cardiac arrest yesterday and is on life support system, chances of her survival are slim come as soon as you can.”
Mira’s mind traveled to her first day at college where she met Mary for the first time, I was looking for my class when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, “Hi. My name is Mary. I am sixty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.” “No seriously” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. “I always dreamed of having a college education and now I am!” she told me. After class we walked to the canteen and had coffee. We became instant friends.
Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk non–stop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the years, Mary became a campus icon and easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and revealed the attention bestowed on her by the other students. She was living it up.
One day we were sitting in the college compound enjoying our daily cup of coffee when unexpectedly Mary said, “Can I ask you something Mira?” I said yes shoot “why do you need to ask?” You do not like my interference, but you are like a child to me. “Are you taking Drugs Mira,” if you are going through any problem you can talk to me, drugs are not a solution to any problem, it will only create difficulties you have a brilliant life ahead of you do not ruin it my child. There was a pin drop silence at that moment it feels even the clock has stopped ticking, birds have gone silent.
Tears started flowing from my eyes; in my nineteen years of existence this was for the first time I heard genuine concern from someone for me, yes, I am taking drugs. I never talked about my problems with anybody one kind concern and it feels the entire weight and sadness which was gathered in my heart came pouring out, I belonged to a dysfunctional family my mother walked out from my life when I was just one year old and never looked back, my father was a womanizer and alcoholic and I never existed for him as he was super rich a line of servants were always waiting hands down, packed to boarding school at four years of age, nobody was bothered if I am dead or alive, I was a thorn in my father’s life who reminds him of his failed relationship and he spared no moments in voicing his thoughts aloud at every opportunity he got.
An unwanted child that was the tag attach to me, in the beginning I tried very hard to get his attention by excelling in everything from sports to academics …..I thought he will pat my back and will encourage me to do better but in the end I realize even if I am dead he will not bother and I started retreating in my shell…… I slipped into depression and started taking drugs without realizing I am getting addicted to it. I know the symptoms you are the first person who noticed, and your concern made all the grief tumbling out and I talked about the things which were of no more importance to me but “How did you guess Mary?”
I know the symptoms my child, I am watching you closely for some time now and don’t know how to talk to you about it, whenever you talk your eyes are wandering here and there but you never talk by looking into a person’s face, your skin is unusually pale, I ignored all these symptoms the first time but never again…
My son dies due to drug overdose and the toll is still difficult to deal with. I belonged to a middle-class family, the eldest of the three sisters. My father all through my life complained of having girls and made my mother’s life a misery with his taunts. He considered his girls a burden and wanted to get rid of us as early as possible. He got me married at an early age. I was an excellent student and wanted to study but my father did not listen to my pleas and married me off to a man ten years my senior. My husband proved to be a bigger tyrant than my father, he believed women were mere servants with no brain and should be confined to household duties and make their men happy. I suffered marital rape and physical torture all through my married life.
My young body was unable to suffer such torture, resulting in miscarriages. My husband never wanted daughters, so he had them killed and when my son was born, he spoiled him rotten. From an early age he made him stubborn, careless, arrogant by bowing to his unjust demands. The minute any wish comes out of his mouth needs to be fulfilled otherwise he starts throwing tantrums. He never gave me respect and treated me like his mother. Like father like son who treats me like a household help who was there to take care of their needs and wants. He made my son his replica who considered women beneath in status and mere slippers of their feet. He never bothered with his studies, started smoking at an early age. When I tried to talk to him or scold him my husband intervened and abused me. How dare you scold my son or even raise your voice at him? Do not forget your place. I am there to take care of things and look after him. The first time I raised my voice and told him you were ruining him as a person, his career and not taking care of things. He slapped me hard in front of my son. My son merely stood there like a dummy and there was no remorse or shame, kindness for me on his face. Something in me died that day and somehow, I knew I lost my son. Kartik, my son started mingling with the wrong crowd and for days he stayed away from home. One night my husband complained about pain in the chest, he suffered cardiac arrest and before I could do something he was gone.
After my husband’s demise my son became a vagabond. He hardly came home when he did, he was hardly in his senses. I tried talking some sense into him, but my advice was ignored. I felt helpless seeing my son ruining his life. One day I received a phone call from the hospital that my son was serious come quickly. By the time I reached hospital he was gone. Doctors told me it was a case of drug overdose. Madam, your son was a drug addict could you not make out from his unruly behavior. People found him unconscious on the pavement. Due to irresponsible parents like you your children adopt such lifestyle shouted the doctor. I was unable to say anything and stood in silence with my grief and tears. I lost him a long time ago and now it is a formality.
After years I feel free, Though I morn my son's death but I feel light and at peace. I could live my life free of any burden or guilt. I rewrote the chapters of my life. I took the first step by taking charge of my husband’s business and learnt it from scratch. Then I decided to fulfill my long-lost dream of completing my education so here I am. Life is never easy my child but the decisions you make in the right direction make all the difference. Life is colorful; be like a rainbow, use every color! Do not get stuck in one color, be colorful. Every person brings out a distinct color in you. If you are feeling blue, try yourself an unusual color.
Mary took me to the sanitorium, drug rehabilitation center she started working with after her son’s demise. Mira everybody faces suffering, and we feel our life is full of hardships. Look at these people, some are ailing from life threatening diseases and have no support or money. They live a non-existent life and die in pain and loneliness. You are a blessed one.
DO not ruin your precious life child, no problem is bigger than your life if nobody is bothered about your existence start living for yourself carve a niche and make a name for yourself in whatever you do, world is a place full of sorrow try doing something for someone who needs it more than you do, start spreading love, help, kindness and monetary help if you can. There are many out there who needs it, drugs are a curse and life is for living, clasp your hand in mine and you will never regret it……….
True to her words, clasping those hands changed my entire existence and time flew. At the end of the last semester, we invited Mary to speak at the farewell party and I will never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium she leaned into the microphone and simply said “I am sorry I am so jittery. I gave up beer for lent and this whisky is killing me! Let me just tell you what I know." As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began “we do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to being and staying happy and achieving success.
“You have to laugh and find humor every day.”
“You must have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die we have so many people walking around who are dead and do not even know it!” There is an enormous difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and do not do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am sixty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn sixty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That does not take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up always finding the opportunity to change. “Have no regrets. The elderly usually do not have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.” A huge round of applause and whistles followed from every corner of the room and a sobbing Mary was carried on my shoulders from the podium. What a festive atmosphere just remembering them made me smile.
Last Mary visited me six months ago and stayed with me for a month when I was posted in high commission in Canada, we had a blast and she told me in a strict manner that she will see me next on my wedding day and not before that and here I was sitting with the first invite and she is ready to fly from the world, I booked my tickets on priority basis but by the time I landed all was over, the beautiful soul named Mary had unclasped my hand .
A beautiful prayer meet was organized by family and friends, people from all walks of life got together to say a final goodbye, everybody has a kind and beautiful words to say for this pure soul, her jest for living, her smile, her words, helping hands has touched a million hearts, her college classmates attended her prayer meet in a tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.
On my part Thank you is a very small gesture I can attribute to this wonderful woman who changed my entire existence by bringing my life on track by acting as a friend philosopher and guide and making true those words that “There is a light at the end of every tunnel!”, Today I lost my mother, father and my every living relative I ever know, She left behind a huge void which is not going to be fulfilled in this life time. Stay blessed wherever you are and keep spreading your light.
Shikha, Mary’s caretaker gave me a letter Mary left for me. Shikha told me, Mira, “Mary has premonition about her death, and she had only one regret she would not be able to meet you and attend your wedding. She loves you like her own daughter.” Tears flowed from my eyes and both of us hugged each other and prayed for a beautiful soul to stay happy wherever she was.
Dear Mira,
If you are reading this letter, then I must have left for my heavenly journey. I had this regret that I was unable to attend my daughter’s wedding and dance till the vee hours of the morning. To enjoy and have fun be your bridesmaid.
But do not be sad, my child I would be watching you and there for you whenever you remember me. I am so proud of you Mira. The way you fight your blues and rise like a ray of sunshine gives new meaning and purpose to your life. Through you I live a dream of raising my daughter like you. I am thankful to God that I was able to save your live and hold your hand in mine and walk side by side with you and your dreams.
Mira love yourself, be yourself and shine among those who never believed in you. Be your own best friend, life becomes easier and try to forgive those who hurt you. Mira for give your parents and try to invite them to your wedding. I know some bridges are difficult to cross but you will be at peace with yourself. Remember, you are the one who can fill your life with sunshine. There is no path to happiness, forgiveness is the key.
My love and blessings are always there for you, stay blessed and a big thank you my friend.
Mary